Thursday, May 5, 2011

A Lethargic Hippo Goes to Rehab

Though unwillingly, I have to admit that my little sister is so much smarter than me. Yes, I have a blog, but that can’t compete with the fact that at age 10, she has both a degree (written very artfully in pink crayon) in psychology AND a local therapy business.  So I made an appointment with Dr. Natasha. Upon entering her very expensive office, I was greeted by a friendly “receptionist” (the role also played by Tasha) and instructed to lie down on the couch and relax. Once Dr. Tasha entered, she got straight down to business. “I promise to help, but first it’s going to cost you $5.00.” So I put my money into the bag, excuse me “bank”, and told her I was ready. “Okay, here it is: you have turned into a potato-chip-eating couch-hugging lethargic hippo who’s only exercise is clicking a mouse. I know it’s harsh, but now that you accept the truth I will help you fix this “problem”. Starting right now, you are officially enrolled in digital rehab.” First of all, where did a 10 year old learn the word “rehab”? Second of all, wow- she’s good. So the doctor hid my computer and threatened to throw a book at me if I asked for it back. Sometimes the only way to learn is the hard way.....
There were 6 different stages of “rehab” that I went through:
1. Denial- “What do you mean I have a problem? Yes, maybe I spend every waking hour on Face-book, and ignore my friends, and don’t spend quality time with my family, but is that really a bad thing?”
2. Anger- “Doctor, I am going to count to three and if you don’t hand that computer over, then Mr. Teddy Bear is going bye-bye!”
3. Bargaining- “If you give me my computer, I will let you have my shirt that you like so much”
4. Guilt- “I feel so guilty for being a lethargic hippo and over-using my computer. I’m sorry. Can I have it back now?”
5. Depression- “The whole world is grey to my eyes. I see no color without my laptop and Face-book. I’m such a worthless human being.”
6. Hope- “I feel like this is a good thing, my whole life is going to change for the better. Bye bye, computer.”
So if you have any of your own problems, I seriously suggest making an appointment with Dr. Tasha. She ain’t cheap, but she will get the job done. Ok, I got to go-
Dr. Tasha is coming in.
-Scatterbrain Sam

*this is original art. 

2 comments:

Josh said...

I loved this one. But, now I'm dying to know what the 7th stage of denial was

The goddess said...

I'm going to have to make an appointment with your sister! Where did she learn this? She is good, man.